My story’s really complicated, but I am hoping this review will help other women in the same situation. I had vaginismus and wasn’t diagnosed until I turned 31 after years of suffering in silence and thinking that I wasn’t normal. I had been married for nearly 3 years and hadn’t been able to have sex with my husband.

Following a gynae procedure that I was told needed to be done under general anaesthetic to investigate intermenstrual spotting, the recovery from it took a real toll on me and my health, and essentially I thought I had developed vulvodynia. I was running out of options as every healthcare professional I went to, just didn’t seem to know what to do, and the pain I was feeling was just continuing.


Even though I had told doctors I had vaginismus, they still wanted to poke and prod me and didn’t seem to have any understanding of what the condition actually was – these were actual gynaecologists too, which just made me feel like I should just give up on getting better – if they didn’t know what was going on with me, then who would be able to figure it out?

After constantly searching the internet and forums for some answers for nearly 4 months of pain, someone recommended pelvic floor physiotherapy to me, and suggested that I go and see Deborah. Deborah has helped me navigate through vaginismus and I was recently signed off by her as my pain has completely gone, and I am now able to relax my pelvic floor normally. I didn’t have vulvodynia, I had extreme vaginismus.

I can’t recommend Deborah enough – she was empathetic and totally understood where I was coming from. She taught me some great techniques to help me progress every few weeks, gave me ‘homework’ to do in my spare time as this was an essential part of the treatment, and if it wasn’t for her then I would more than likely be in the same situation as I was in last year – in pain and still searching for answers.

Through Deborah’s sessions and the biofeedback, I now have a normal, relaxed pelvic floor, and I am on the next phase of my vaginismus treatment in the form of counselling. Physiotherapy and counselling need to go hand-in-hand, but due to the specialists that need to be involved on the counselling side, I am still on a very long NHS waiting list to even see someone. So I am continuing with the techniques that Deborah taught me until then.

Overall, I am halfway there, and I am so grateful to Deborah for helping me through such a tough time in my life. Her help and advice have been second to none and I only have her to thank in helping me navigate my body, understanding my concerns and essentially, helping me to overcome vaginismus – I didn’t think this was possible but now, I really have more hope for myself, and, my future with my husband. Thank you Deborah!


MJ January 2020